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Ever begin to dream a little…imagining exactly what you want for your business, and how you want to start showing up and playing BIG?
Then that voice pipes up: “Who do you think you are?”
You imagine all of the things that could go wrong, and see yourself falling flat on your face in front of a sea of judgmental onlookers. Often, this negative future-forecast is enough to stop all progress toward our dreams.
It’s not your fault. Your brain is wired to find the negative. It’s called Negativity Bias: “The negative bias is our tendency not only to register negative stimuli more readily but also to dwell on these events.”
So, it’s only natural that when you start dreaming, making big plans, and setting stretch goals in your business and life, your brain finds all the reasons you CAN’T do it. It’s your brain’s misguided attempt to keep you safe — a survival mechanism.
Standing Up to Your Negative Voice
Just because your brain is wired this way doesn’t mean you have to give up on your dreams. As the proud owner of a huge brain, you can train your brain to look for the positive.
You do this by first acknowledging that Negativity Bias is real and baked-in. It’s not a character flaw.
Next, become aware of your tendency to be your own biggest critic. When you catch yourself engaging in negative self-talk, say to yourself, “There it is.”
You can talk back to that voice, and question it. Ask it why. “Why do you say that?” “Is that true?”
Best of all, you don’t have to shut it up entirely. (You probably won’t.) You can choose consciously to move forward, even though you feel doubtful or afraid.
Asking Better Questions
An effective way to slant your thoughts toward the positive is to ask yourself better questions.
Instead of becoming paralyzed when you hear the dreaded “Who do you think you are?” …call your mind’s bluff and answer the question.
It might go something like this:
Negative Voice: “Who do you think you are?”
“I think…I’m a person who works hard.
I’ve achieved so many great things in my life.
It’s safe to dream and to go after what I want.
I’m worthy of my dreams.
I’m exactly who I am and that’s enough.
That’s who I think I am.”
Next, ask yourself a life-changing follow-up question: “Who do I want to be?”
Who you want to be is the whole reason for what you do — or at least it should be. It’s your deepest WHY.
If you dig beneath the layers of expectations and desired status, you’ll find a vision for exactly who you want to be waiting for you. That’s the point of asking better questions — to get to your truth.
A warning: Your mind will throw all kinds of zingers at you once you hit on the truth. Remember, it’s trying to protect you in its own way.
So, when it bombards you with all of the “logical reasons” that you can never be who you want to be, come back with this question:
“WHY NOT ME?”
Your mind is going to keep chattering. That’s okay. Just take a deep breath and keep asking, “Why not me?”
Think of the people you admire most. I guarantee you they weren’t born as leaders, multi-million-dollar entrepreneurs, influencers, or best-selling authors.
They had to BECOME those things.
And so do you.
You have to BECOME who you want to be.
And it all starts with asking better questions…
Who do you think you are?
Who do I want to be?
Why not me?
Want more quick hits for your mindset? Listen to The Rich Life Reframe Podcast now. While you’re there, be sure to enter to win a scholarship to Tiny Offer Lab.